$2.17 for Children or Grandchildren
Divorced, But Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?
There are no two ways about it, divorce can be rough. Even the couples who mutually decide a marriage is over may still find the need to reconstruct parts of their lives. For most couples though divorce isn’t a mutually agreed-on idea, at least not at first. Often both spouses are left feeling some sadness over the end of a relationship they once thought would last forever.
Regardless of the how and why a marriage ends, most divorced people eventually move on to date and marry other people. How do you know when you’re ready to start dating again after a divorce?
If you’re like most divorced people, you’ve probably already had at least one friend or family member ask about your dating life. Everyone seems to want to give advice about getting back out there and not giving up on love. It’s not always easy to get back into dating. It takes time to rebuild your life after divorce.
It can take some time to tie up loose ends and you may have to communicate regularly with your ex-spouse in the beginning to sort out new living arrangements, bills, income taxes and child care. Some people may experience pressure from family or friends not to start dating again soon after a divorce. Divorce, like any breakup, is emotionally difficult and it takes time to heal.
Some mental health professionals and dating experts like to put a precise time limit on when it’s okay to consider dating again post-divorce. The truth is, it matters less how long you’ve been divorced and more how much progress you’ve made personally.
One question you might want to ask yourself before you begin to date again is whether or not you are over your ex. It’s normal to think about your ex sometimes, anything from a shared interest or a moment with your children can bring up thoughts of your ex. What you need to consider carefully is how those thoughts make you feel.
If you’re bitter about your ex then the reaction might be to tell yourself you don’t love them and throw yourself into another relationship as quickly as possible. Harboring deep resentment and anger towards an ex means you’re not fully over the relationship. This is not to say it means you want them back, but it could mean you haven’t fully moved on. On the other hand if you know, or even suspect, that you are still in love with your ex-spouse then it is probably not the right time to start a relationship with someone else. Rather than helping you get over your spouse, you will end up hurting yourself and the other person unnecessarily.
So how do you know you are really over your ex? When you have neutral feelings towards your spouse then it is a good time to start dating again. It’s normal to think fondly of an ex-spouse, especially if the divorce was mutual. There’s a difference, however, between having fond memories and longing. Neutral means you’re over both anger and longing and ready to truly move on with your life.
Another great question to ask yourself is, do you know what you want in a partner? Answering this question can get trickier than ever after divorce. After all, you may have married someone whom you thought was your ideal partner, only to find out that this wasn’t the case. Many divorced men and women try to overcorrect and find someone who is the complete opposite of their ex. Others might be on the lookout for someone exactly like their ex-spouse, especially if they weren’t the initiator of the divorce. Both of these ideas can lead to mistakes.
You should know what you want and what you don’t want in a partner. You should also take some time to decide what your deal breakers are. Once you know, stick to them. Many divorces come from couples who knew beforehand they had fundamental differences, but at least one spouse felt that marriage would reconcile their spouse to their way of thinking.
Figuring out what you really want and need in a partner is part of growing into a mature and healthy adult. It can take decades to do so, so don’t be hard on yourself if your first try wasn’t a success. Think carefully about what is most important to you in life. What are your dreams and goals for the future? What are your values and beliefs? What characteristics are you unable to accept in another person? Once you have a solid idea of what you want in your next partner, then you are ready to begin looking for that person.
Lastly, do you feel confident and excited about dating again? Friends and family, especially those who are in relationships themselves or are married and have children, will try to convince you to date again, whether you’re really ready or not. But until you feel confident and excited about dating again, it’s too soon.
However, if you feel like you’re just going through the motions, then it may be too soon for you to be dating again also. If you’re struggling with guilt that it’s too soon or you’re enjoying being single and regaining some lost independence, then you may want to hold off on entering the dating scene for a while more.
In the end, you’re the only one who can say if you’re ready to begin dating again post-divorce. If you feel like you’re being pushed, either by well-meaning friends or family, then odds are you simply need more time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Once you’ve allowed yourself to get over the end of your marriage, you know what it is you want and need in a partner and you feel excited about the idea of meeting someone new, then these are indicators that you just may be ready to date again.
You might also be interested in...
- 6 Foods That Feed Your Brain
- 6 Things To Give Up This Year
- 7 Common Relationship Deal-Breakers
- 7 Facts Women Should Know About Heart Disease
- When You Already Feel Like Giving Up On Your Resolutions
- Amazing Tips To Help You Get Through Allergy Season
- Anti-Aging Tips And Tricks
- Are Protein Shakes A Healthy Choice?
- Are We More Stressed Than the Rest of the World
- Are You Ruining Your Relationship
- Are You Socially Awkward?
- Attitude Of Gratitude
- Beating Work Burnout is Easier than You Think
- Benefits Of Yoga And Meditation
- Beware Of Relationship Killers
- Big Cities Surprisingly Great for Outdoorsy People
- How To Boost Your Self Confidence
- Can Saying You’re Sorry Save Your Life?
- Can White Wines Be Healthy Too
- Changing Careers In Your 40s
- Divorced, But Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?
- Do You Fight Like Other Couples?
- When you don't have a green thumb
- 8 PreWorkout Meals To Maximize Results
- Financial Benefits Of Co-Habitation vs Marriage
- Financial Tips To Follow During And After Divorce
- Five Ways To Lead A Regret-Free Life
- Why Your Friends Should Be Jealous If You’re 30-Something And Single
- Can A Full Moon Really Affect People?
- Getting a Life Insurance Quote Without Getting a Medical Exam
- Health Benefits Of Almond Milk
- The Health Benefits Of Avocado
- Health Benefits Of Cinnamon
- How To Choose A Multivitamin?
- How To Make The New Year The Best One Yet
- How To Prepare For Your Next Interview
- Is a Co-worker Making You Hate Your Job?
- Is The Ketogenic Diet Safe?
- Is Music The Antidote For Depression
- Is Your Diet Making You Feel More Stress?
- How To Keep Your Facebook Safe From Scammers
- Life Insurance Companies Offer Protection
- Living With Fibromyalgia
- How To Look Better Than Ever At 40
- More Big Cities Surprisingly Great for Outdoorsy People
- Natural Remedies For Acid Reflux
- No Medical Exam Life Insurance: Only a Few Y/N Health Questions
- 10 Olympic Sports That Didn’t Make the Cut
- Outrageous Facts about U.S. Presidents
- Ovarian Cancer--The Silent Killer
- Overcoming Frustration
- How To Get Relief From Credit Card Debt
- Is There A Risk of Heart Disease Due To Drinking?
- Shocking Food Facts that May Change the Way You Eat
- Sick Of Running? 5 Cardio Routines You Should Try Instead
- Smart Tips for Getting Paid What You Really Deserve
- Strange Laws You Don't Even Know You're Breaking
- The Singles’ Guide To Life Insurance
- Things To Remember When Buying Life Insurance
- Top 5 Things You Need To Know About Life Insurance
- Top 6 Factors That Destroy Your Credit Score
- Top Ten Health Tips For Active Women Over 50
- Treating Menopause Symptoms With Alternative Medicine
- Want To Know How Your Interview Went? Think Of It Like A First Date…
- What Every Woman Should Know About Breast Cancer
- What Is Ruining Your Workout
- What Most 30–Somethings Wish They’d Known in Their 20s
- Whats Really To Blame For Your Bad Mood
- Why You Keep Overeating and How to Stop
- Why You Need To Talk About Life Insurance
- You Can't Afford to Believe These Women's Health Myths
- 5 Plants To Keep In Your Bedroom
- Five Simple Ways To Protect Your Retirement
- The Best Ways To Cover Gray Hair
- 5 Hidden Causes Of High Blood Pressure
- 10 Steps To Get Through The Holidays Stress-Free
- 5 Ways To Break A Bad Habit
- The 5 Benefits Of A Veterans Home Loan
- Top 5 Prevention Tips For Heart Disease And Stroke
- 5 Surprising Facts About Low-Carb Diets
- 7 Ways To Live A Happier Life
- 6 Tips To Be More Productive
- 7 Steps To Help Someone Who Is Grieving
- 4 Reasons Why Your Diet Resolutions May Be Counterproductive
- Deciding On Braces After 40
- Why A Massage May Be Helpful For Back Pain
- How To Have Self-Compassion
- How To Stay Productive When You Don’t Feel Like it
- Foods To Eat When You’re Feeling Stressed
- How Helping Others Can Make You Happier
- Why You Don’t Have To Fear Fat When Dieting
- 6 Things You Should Do To Live Without Regret
- How To Create Your Own Happiness
- How To Get Immediate Stress Relief
- Why It May Be Time To Make Some Changes
- Why You May Want To Sleep On Your Left Side
- 4 Health Symptoms You Should Never Ignore
- Dos And Don’ts Of Job Interviews