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8 Habits that Could Be Hurting Your Marriage
Are you unintentionally sabotaging your own marriage? Whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for decades, there are always ways for you to make your marriage stronger. Don’t make mistakes that may drive you and your spouse apart. Read on to discover eight bad habits that could be hurting your marriage.
1. Bad spending habits
Arguing over money —it’s one of the top issues married couples face. This is especially true if the couple is facing stress due to financial problems, but even couples who are financially secure argue over money if one spouse has bad spending habits. Does your spouse often complain about you over–spending or making other bad financial decisions? If so, what’s your response? If you get defensive or ignore it and keep doing what you want regardless, then you could be seriously damaging your marriage.
2. Not being intimate
Marriage can slow down your sex life. As you start to build a life together, you’re suddenly busy starting your careers and growing your family. Once the kids come, you might find that time alone is a rare commodity. It’s normal to slow down after the honeymoon phase. But if you and your spouse stop being intimate altogether, then your marriage might feel the negative effects.
3. Not spending time together
Work, daily errands, chores, and other pursuits take up a lot of your day. If you happen to have children, then the amount of time you have with your spouse is even rarer. Many married couples get so wrapped up in their daily routines that they overlook spending time with each other. Set aside times during the day and every week that are designated just for the two of you.
4. Not spending quality time together
You live together —so it naturally follows that you spend time together. But are you and your spouse still spending quality time together? It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to pay as much attention to each other as you did when you first felt the strong attachment that you once had. But this bad habit can cause you to grow apart if you’re not careful. Make your time together special by planning fun things to do together. Talk to your spouse about his or her day. Share important things about yours. Even if you’re just relaxing together on the couch, focus on your spouse and make sure the time you spend together makes you a stronger couple.
5. Being clingy
Clinginess means you always need to know where your spouse is and what they are doing. You call your spouse several times a day, even on workdays, just to ask what’s going on. You give up your friends and hobbies because you don’t want to be away from him/her. Acts of clinginess might seem like you’re expressing your love and being a good spouse, but marriages need to give both people room to grow and be individuals too.
6. Not admitting to being wrong
Is it hard for you to admit to being wrong? Do you almost never say you’re sorry, no matter how badly you’ve behaved? If so, then you could be causing serious damage to your marriage. The feeling of winning an argument might be enjoyable to you, but imagine how it feels to always be the one who loses.
Spouses who continually have to be right will leave the other spouse feeling rejected, hassled, and bitter. Saying "sorry" isn’t easy if you’re used to winning, but once you start admitting to being wrong when you are, your marriage will grow stronger. You might even find that admitting to being wrong can be quite freeing.
7. Constantly finding fault
Marriage is a partnership. It’s a union to draw support from. You can’t face the world together if you’re always focusing on the imperfections of your other half. If you make most of the decisions, boss your spouse around, and pick at every fault (real or imagined) then it’s time to rethink this marriage. These types of things are ruining habits for a possibly productive relationship.
Do you constantly nag your spouse about his or her bad habits? Do you nag your spouse about chores or other tasks you feel are all too often left undone? It’s easy to fall into the bad habit of nagging your spouse, but nagging is a top romance–killer and it’s a bad habit that slowly tears away at your marriage. You may even think you’re just "reminding" or "motivating" your spouse, but in reality you’re annoying them and treating them like a child.
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